Tank (tank_bass) wrote,

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Up late

I don't know why I do this, but every once in a while I end up staying late and getting all introspective and pensive.

Tonight I thought of this weird little journal, this odd glimpse into the past ten years of my life. It gets more and more sparse through time, and that's okay. I think this place has served a purpose.

This journal was a shoulder to lean on when I was young and lost, at least emotionally. It's not that I didn't have friends, but growing up the way I did, I never learned how to communicate my feelings effectively, which is something I still struggle with. I think on some level, this was all an attempt at that, with my little emoticons and songs being listened to.

I'm 25 and in a month, I'll be married. It's really weird to think that the kid gushing about his Who CD purchase would be getting married (especially considering all the false-positives on the whole "love" thing).

I don't know, I can't help but think that all that angst was for null. In a way, it was wasted energy. Aimless keystrokes into the adolescent night.

Really, though, it is a part of who I am today, and a part of all the beautiful little bits of life I appreciate. I think my hopeless romanticism a good foundation for learning to actually love. At least, that's what I'd like to think.

At any rate, as weird as it is to admit, on livejournal of all places, I'm happy. And I can't picture life any other way.
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