Tank (tank_bass) wrote,

Never Alone

More archive diving, specifically to my life in 2005, which may as well have been the end of the world to me at that point, at least toward the end of that year.

Just reading the comments from those posts, when things were "dark" (which, hindsight being 20/20, is laughable. Death wasn't around the corner, I wasn't shooting up on the regular or something. It was about as dark as cheap sunglasses) people would remark on my positivity, my relentless optimism. It made me smile.

That is one of my positive traits, that I'm generally happy and positive. I don't like being negative, and I don't like feeling shitty (does anybody, though? At least for the latter). I want to be a force of good, and I think I'm doing okay in that department.

Then why don't I feel like I am?

It's quite obvious to me that there are several changes I need to make in my life in order to maintain the good. The great part is that I'm never alone, although I may feel like it from time to time.

I feel detached from my friends because our lives are so much different. I have kids, they don't. I don't really go out anymore, they do. It's okay though. At the end of it all, they're still my friends and I'm not alone. I can call them, they will answer, and we can talk.

I guess I should remind myself of that from time to time.
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